My Grandpa Norder used to own a bar in Bear Creek, WI. It was called Norder’s Bar. Creative, huh? My grandparents lived in an apartment above the bar for many years, even after the bar had closed it’s doors. My family would always celebrate Christmas by going to the (closed) bar on Christmas Eve. My mom has 7 brothers and sisters who were mostly all married and had kids, so it was a lot of people to celebrate with.
Even though the bar was not operational everything was still in place. My teenaged cousins Peter and Pat would always play pool with my uncles and if any of us younger kids touched any of the pool balls we’d get chased and yelled at. There were always whole nuts at the bar with a nutcracker. I could never get the nut meat out because I was not strong enough or coordinated enough to use the nutcracker. My cousins and I would always get early Christmas gifts from our godparents on Christmas Eve. My godfather is my mom’s brother, Dave, so he always had something special for me. And I remember it being warm. There was a always a wood stove that was stoked to the max. We’d get yelled at for running by it or getting too close. But what I remember most about Christmas at Norder’s Bar was the jukebox.
All of the songs on the jukebox were from decades before my cousins and I were even born, but we loved it anyway. My grandpa rigged it so that we could play any songs we wanted without putting any money in. Hands down our very favorite song to queue up was an obscure recording by Neil Ray called Big Fanny.
Several years ago I was thinking about this song when my grandpa passed away. I tried to look it up online and couldn’t find anything. Over the weekend, at my bridal luncheon, I somehow got into a conversation with my cousin Dawn and my Aunt Ali about the jukebox. Of course, Big Fanny came up. We did a search then and there and whattaya know? The internet has caught up. Not only was I able to find the song on YouTube, I also found all the lyrics. BINGO! I have listened to this song several times this week and just had to share it.
An interesting sidenote: My mom told me this weekend that we only celebrated Chrsitmas at Norder’s Bar while my grandma was still alive. She passed away when I was 7 years old, so all of these memories were from before then. Amazing! This also explains why all of the kids loved a song that has many references to “rice patties” and the Vietnam War. It said “fanny.” Many times! Fanny fanny fanny!! And it made fun of someone for being fat, ugly, having bad breath, and having a big fanny. Plus she got in a fight with a grizzly bear. It’s not right, but what little kid isn’t going to giggle at that? And want to hear it over and over?
So, here’s Big Fanny on YouTube:
And here’s an mp3 of Big Fanny.
And here are the lyrics to Big Fanny.
Big Fanny, she was big and she was bad
Big Fanny, she was also kind of sa-ad
There wasn’t anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed 300 pounds
She weighed 300 pounds, stood 5 foot 5
And had an odor more dead than alive
Had black greasy hair on her dimpled chin
And her big belly rumbled like a lion’s den – Big Fanny
No one knew who was Fanny’s daddy
She turned up one day in a wet rice paddy
Just lookin’ stupid and standin’ stiff
And even the dogs refused to sniff of Big Fanny
Big Fanny-eee!
Some say she came from around Hanoi
Where she got in a fight with some VC boys.
She blowed her garlic breath in those VC’s face
And they dropped like flies all over the place – Big Fanny.
Big Fanny-eee!
The cops finally put big fanny in jail,
Gave her thirty days, wouldn’t set no bail
She gave a might belch and struck a match
And the gas blowed a hole in that booby-hatch – Big Fanny.
Big Fanny-eee!
Big Fanny was up in the mountains one night
A-fightin’ a bear in the soft moonlight
The bear stuck a claw in Fannies eye
And all of the people said good-bye to Big Fanny
Big Fanny-eee!
But Fanny got tired of playing with that bear
And grabbed two handfuls of his mangy hair
She gave a karate chop and a judo roll
And knocked that grizzly critter out cold – Big Fanny
Big Fanny-eee!
Big Fanny hung around for a couple of years
Smoking ci-gar butts and mooching beers
And then one morning she was up and gone
Back to the jungle huntin’ Viet Cong – Big Fanny
So along the roads in North Viet Nam
There’s trees a-growin’ with signs nailed on
They say “If you leave this road, be careful pal
Somewhere in that jungle is a big bad gal” – Big Fanny
Big Fanny-eee!
Big Fanny, she was big and she was bad.
Big Fanny, she was also kind of sa-ad.
There wasn’t anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed 300 pounds.
There wasn’t anybody who could put Big Fanny down
She was big and bad and ugly and she weighed… three… hun… dred… pounds.






