Entries from March 24th, 2011

Hanging Out at the Kona Coast Resort

March 27th, 2011 · No Comments

Danny, Caroline, Cory and Chris were all sharing a condo at the Kona Coast Resort. After our Kona coffee tour and stop at the Donkey Balls store, we headed back to the condo.

Cory, Chris, Caroline and I hung out by the pool for a while and I introduced Chris to his first lava flow. I feel like I’m the lava flow ambassador!


Chris trying to look up shuffleboard rules on his phone at the pool

The Kona Coast Resort is a perfectly nice place. The condos are clean and nicely decorated in a tropical theme. There are plenty of activities and a nice pool.. and .. the only thing.. is that it kind of reminded me of some kind of Florida retirement community. There were a lot of older people. When your pool has a railing all around it, you might be clued in to the fact that you’re staying at a retirement community!

Another clue? Shuffleboard! Actually, the shuffleboard area was right outside the patio doors of the condo they were all staying in. So, we decided we had to play. I never played before, so I was excited. Too bad excitement doesn’t convert to skill. I was not very good! But we all had a fun time! Caroline thinks that this will be our life someday. We’ll all get condos at a tropical retirement villa and have shuffleboard tourneys. Not a bad life!

After shuffleboard Danny made us dinner using the fish we did not catch that morning. He made grilled blue marlin; kimchi somen cakes; crab, cream cheese and citrus wontons; and a kimchi consomme.

That night Dallas and I ended up staying overnight at the condo. There was a pull-out couch, so there was plenty of space. Our hotel was about an hour north of Kona and the next day we were headed south, so it just made sense to cut out that driving time.

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Donkey Balls Factory and Store

March 26th, 2011 · 3 Comments

As we were driving south of Kona, on the way to Greenwell Kona Coffee Farm, we passed by an interesting sign on a store. On the way home we just had to stop.

This is the home of the original Donkey Balls factory and store as well as the Surfin’ Ass Coffee Company. Hm. Very interesting.

We went in and were right away asked if we wanted to try samples of Donkey Balls. I didn’t even know what they were! Turns out they’re all different variations of chocolate covered macadamia nuts.

All of the different Donkey Balls have slightly dirty names. But when you break it down, they all make sense. Sunkissed Balls are Hawaiian macadamia nuts covered in semisweet chocolate and then a Layer of white Chocolate flavored with orange. Balls of Fire are Hawaiian macadamia nuts covered in rich chocolate and then a layer of cayenne pepper. Flaky Balls are chocolate-covered Hawaiian macadamia nuts rolled with flakes of coconut. Jitter Balls are Hawaiian macadamia nuts covered with chocolate and 100% Kona coffee. I think you get the drift.

In the storefront window there was a cat sleeping.

I soon found out that his name is Mr. Butters and that he has a coffee named for him!

I also spotted a guy making donkey balls on site.

They also sell a small selection of Hawaiian products. We just stuck to the balls, though.

Caroline and I ended up getting Salty Balls (chocolate-covered Hawaiian macadamia nuts rolled in sea salt) and Crusty Balls (Hawaiian macadamia nuts covered in rich chocolate and toffee bits added). I think. Don’t quote me on that. I tasted a lot of balls and in the end I can’t remember exactly what we bought. They were delicious, though, and made a good dessert after dinner that night.

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Greenwell Kona Coffee Farms

March 25th, 2011 · 4 Comments

After lunch Cory, Caroline and I made the spontaneous decision to tour a Kona coffee farm. You can’t be a coffee drinker in Kona and not do this, right?

Greenwell Kona Coffee Farm was located just down the road, so we decided to go there. When we arrived there was a little gift shop and a small parking area. We parked the car and walked up. The free tour was just about to begin. Great timing! We were invited to take a taste of the coffee ahead of time and to bring a sample on the tour with us.

There were about 10 people on the tour, so it was a nice, small group. Our guide, Gloria, covered what was involved in the coffee-making process, plus a bit about the history of Greenwell Farms. She walked us across a small street to an area where they had some coffee trees growing. On the way Gloria pointed out some other things they grow at the farm – macadamia nuts, oranges, huge avocados, bananas.

Gloria told us that most of the their coffee is grown up the mountain. Greenwell Farms buys coffee cherries from 300 farmers in the North and South Kona Regions. Down by the tour site was the original farm and we could see the original, vintage coffee trees. Greenwell farms has been operating on this land since the Greenwell family was there back in the 1800s.

In the early spring time the orchards are in full bloom with white flowers. A lot of people call this “Kona Snow” because the orchard in full bloom looks like a snowstorm hit! In the fall the flowers turn and the trees are then covered with “Coffee Cherries.”

These red cherries are hand-picked and harvested from August to February. Farmers from all over Kona come to Greenwell Farms with their day’s picking. Gloria told us that all Kona coffee must be picked by hand and that is why it’s sometimes so pricey. Other coffee farms plant their coffee tree rows wider and send machines down to pick all the berries – green, red, or otherwise. This leads to the coffee being less consistent in taste. Kona pickers pick all the red berries off the tree and leave the green ones or overripe brown ones. Then they’ll revisit the tree again later on and pick the ripe berries again. It’s a longer, more laborous process, but leads to a more consistent quality and taste in the coffee.

Greenwell Farms operates pulping and drying facilities, a mill, and a bean grading and sorting facility. Though they employ many modern industrial coffee practices, some things they have are still super old school. Like the Hoshidanas, which are platforms used to sun-dry the coffee.

Greenwell Farms also has a roasting facility that is used to roast coffee that is sold retail and wholesale. They also roast for a bunch of other coffee companies in Kona. They even sell green beans to the coffee industry and have established themselves as a premiere source of Kona Coffee. Gloria told us that Greenwell Farms produces 20% of all Kona coffee sold worldwide. As a sidenote, in order for a coffee to be packaged and labeled as a “Kona blend” it has to contain at least 10% Kona coffee.

After the tour we got to taste all of the coffee products at the Greenwell Farms Store. Other than coffee, we tried chocolate-covered macadamia nuts and chocolate-covered coffee beans. The nuts and beans are grown on-site and all of the chocolate products are made from Kona-grown cocoa beans at the Original Hawaiian Chocolate Factory. They also sold some Big Island Bees honey.

Gloria told us a story about how they noticed that the Kona coffee pickers had really young-looking hands. They did some studies and found out that the fruit of the cherry is a natural anti-aging substance. They used to use this as a mulch or fertilizer, but now they sell it to a Kauai company, Malie, who uses it in anti-aging creams. I was interested in trying this, but it was $50 for just one ounce!

The coffee fruit is also chock full of antioxidents and nutrients, and so Greenwell Farms also sells the coffee fruit to KonaRed who makes a “wellness beverage” from it. I thought it was interesting how this side-product industry has popped up. Where before they would take the pulp and work it back into the ground, they now sell it for a profit.

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L&L Drive-Inn

March 25th, 2011 · No Comments

After our half day deep-sea fishing trip, we went to L&L for lunch. Caroline was really excited to try a loco moco for the first time. I think the rest of us all got plate lunches. I got a kalua pig and lau lau plate lunch. Actually, Cory got saimin, I think. We were all laughing at Caroline and Danny who ordered like half the menu. Hahha. Caroline also got Spam musubi to try for the first time. And some kind of fried shrimp that was really tasty.

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Deep Sea Fishing Off the Kona Coast

March 24th, 2011 · 3 Comments

At 5:30 a.m. we got up and headed down to the Honokohau Marina near Kona. Chris chartered a boat for us to go deep sea fishing! I thought it would be really expensive, but we were able to get a private boat and captain for a half day and it came to about $50 per person and we got to keep any fish we caught!

Captain Bob took us out on his boat, the Thrill Seeker. When asked what kind of fish we wanted to catch, I said “Delicious ones!” Danny planned to cook up the fish we caught for dinner that night, since they were staying in a condo with a full kitchen and grill. Captain Bob said he’d try to get us some ono, ahi or mahi. I think he also goes for marlin (black, blue, or striped).

At the marina, before heading out, we each took Dramamine. No one wanted to be stuck out on a boat for 4 hours puking their guts out because they were seasick.

Unknown side effect of Dramamine: Drowsiness. Not even just a little tired… but like crash-out sleep!

The good news is that no one got seasick. The bad news is that we all slept for most of the boat ride! The good news? No one missed anything. The bad news? We didn’t miss anything because we caught ZERO fish!

We did get to see some schools of spinner dolphins and a bunch of whales, not humpbacks, but a smaller kind of whale.


Sign in the bathroom: “Please do not put anything in the “head” unless you have eaten it first. “Head” is boat-speak for “toilet.”

At the end I was kind of disappointed, but it’s not like Captain Bob can guarantee that you’re going to catch fish. He did tell us that about 35% of his customers are repeats because they’re happy, so I’m sure he catches fish often… just not with us! As Chris said, “this is why they call it fishing, not catching.” So, we paid for a chartered boat to take us on a beautiful sunrise trip, basically. It looked like this. For four hours:

Since we still wanted to Danny to cook us dinner, after we were done fishing (or not fishing) we went to the Bite Me Fish Market at the marina and to Costco in Kona to buy fish and things for dinner!

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